More stories Part 3

June 11, 2009
I have my Grandmother with me, and Maggie, a yoga instructor interested in teaching at the shelter who came tonight to observe. As we walk down the hall towards the common room we hear lots of laughing, something is going on in there. We enter the room to find a group of ladies playing dress-up with a box of donated clothes. They were telling each other how ‘gorgeous’ they look, one wearing a flannel plaid skirt pulled up to her chest, another with a blouse from 1950 draped over her shoulders, as if they wouldn’t be caught dead in these clothes! We laughed right along with them, it was funny! So I guess if you ever wondered what happens to the clothes that you would never wear again that you so graciously donate, now you know – the homeless people make fun of them! Just like us. But there were a few things in the box that they were very happy to claim, they tucked the good finds back in their room and got their yoga mats.

Mistake #1 of the night – I didn’t tell them how to set up their mats, and they were all over the place, facing all sorts of odd directions so I couldn’t even see their faces. Of course once their mats were down, they didn’t want to move them, so I had to try to teach in 3 different directions. From now on, will instruct as they enter the room where to put mats and which direction to face.

The lady who was right in the center of the room in front of me immediately lied down and fell asleep and was snoring before our opening stretch! There was also a party in the adjoining room, the partition wasn’t all the way closed, and a 5 year old boy popped his head in a few times to see what we were doing. The ladies were not bothered by him, they asked him to join us. All of these distractions, on top of the giddy energy from the dress-up party made for a jittery group. I just got the sense that nobody was going to be listening to me tonight. So instead of trying to force the energy to slow down, I just went with it, trying to get their attention by talking about where we store tension in the body and trying to get rid of some of it with a few lion’s breaths. I really had to egg them on to do it, but eventually most of them tried it. Lion’s breath only seemed to intensify the giggles but it got us going.

During warm-up stretches, I felt like we were just going through the motions, not really present, so I while I could have slowed down and tried to center, instead I chose to cruise through the stretching, going with instinct to get them moving. As soon as we stood, we went straight to the wall for chest openers. I think this is an important stretch for them, with all the heartache and depression they must feel, opening the heart center always seems to feel very good for them. After the wall stretches, I didn’t want them to go back to their mats because I felt like I would lose their attention, so I asked them to just form a circle (around the snoring woman) and we began to move, circling wrists, elbows, etc. They all had smiles, and more ladies were up than down today (65% participation or so), so I’ll call that a success right there. I could tell they were ready to dance, already ahead of me, but I snuck in a tree pose and at my first and final attempt at the theme I planned for the night, I talked about alignment. I explained how when we hunch over, our bones are out of alignment, so our muscles have to overcompensate. This extra work drains our energy. When we stand tall and even, allowing for the natural curve of our spine with the chest open and muscles soft, we feel better because we open up the flow of energy in our bodies. As I am talking about this, I notice one lady standing so erect with the most serene Buddha smile, I use her as an example. She told everyone “Wow, it’s true!!! I really do feel good standing like this!” Yah!

Then we danced, it was mellow but fun, they all got a kick out of my grandmother dancing with them. One woman commented “I wonder how I’ll be doing when I’m 86?” My gram answered “Well you’ve got to take care of yourself because nobody else will.” The woman replied “You got that right.”

Glorious Maggie, it was so fun having her join us in class tonight, I loved seeing her dance with the women. I felt no judgment from her, she just radiated peace. I know she will have a wonderful calming presence when she teaches here next week.

After dancing, we moved back into stretches, but again, I just wasn’t feeling like the group was present, and to tell the truth, neither was I. We did a seated meditation, which did somehow manage to settle things down even with the noise increasing in the adjacent room. I guess learning how to feel calm even with disruptions and an unpeaceful environment might be more realistic in their lives right now. Then we moved into savasana, and for some reason, the distractions became so much more palpable lying down than when we were seated. I could tell they weren’t really feeling the peace, but I persisted in trying to lead them through a body scan. I should have stopped there, but I felt like the whole night went without any real introspection, so I tried to squeeze in some yogic wisdom, which instead came out like yoga babble. I said something like “Feel inside your heart, your own magnificence” and sure enough, I got caught. I should have known that these ladies would keep me on my toes. I heard one say to another “Are you buying this shit?” She was so right. This was a major lesson for me. If I’m not feeling it, don’t try to sell it. KEEP IT REAL!!!

Overall, there was better participation in the standing segment than the last several weeks. However, it seems like a peaceful introspective class is mutually exclusive with a fun lively class. I cannot control the class enough to create a transition. Tonight, we had fun, we goofed around, but I did not feel like I brought them peace. Did I do them a service? Not as much as I could have. They were having fun before I arrived. They don’t need me for that. After class was over, I felt excited, unsettled, and unfinished. I forgot to say Namaste. I even forgot to spray the lavender during savasana, their favorite part.

We did conclude by going around the room saying our name and what brings us peace. I love this part: the eye contact, the sincerity of their answers – the beach, writing, walking, lying in the sun, waking up and seeing that a new day has arrived.
There was one woman who sat at the table reading her book for the entire duration of the class. It was as if she did not want to associate herself with the group of women. When it was her turn, she said her name and said “I don’t have an answer for that.”
I said “Well it looks like you must enjoy reading.”
“Yes” (still distant)
“Then can you say that reading brings you peace?”
“Yes, reading brings me peace” (ahh, I see a smile, feel a connection, tension being released, simple and subtle yet powerful at the same time)

There was another woman who told me after class that she will not be here next time I come because she is moving out in 10 days. What does that mean? Where is she going? Will she be ok? I want to ask her so much, but I know it is not my place, I wish her well and hug her, wondering to myself if we’ll ever cross paths again.

As we were packing up, many of them came up to hug my grandmother. They were so genuine in their appreciation of her presence. They know how to keep it real.

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